Transitions

 

I’m a working mom.

I’m a working mom with two young kids.

I’m a working mom with two young kids and a husband who works long hours with a long commute.

I’m a working mom with two young kids and a husband who works long hours with a long commute and have a two-year-old daughter who won’t go to bed without someone next to her and a baby who cluster feeds and does not have any type of sleep schedule.

—–

A few weeks ago, I dared to venture out for an evening with my favorite girlfriends. Steve was absolutely on board with my outing, and I left happy to flee my household for the evening. I told Steve not to worry about bedtimes, that I would be home by 9:30 and we would deal with it then. I had a great time out, but when I came home, my hubby was barely cognizant. Apparently, two kids at night is harder to deal with as a single person than we imagined. The two-year-old was rummy and overtired, the baby was crying because he wanted to eat every hour. And my husband, who had to leave for work at five the next morning, needed some kid-free time.

Clearly, our lives are in controlled chaos.

It wasn’t until I returned from my outing that I knew life as I knew it (before Carson) was not to be realized again. There are two children who need me or my husband at all times right now. They are beautiful, growing, and loved children, and I am prepared to meet their needs as much as possible. I brought these children into the world prepared for my life to change, and on that Thursday night a few weeks ago, I realized that life has changed . . . a lot.

Just last week, I decided to withdraw from my regular craft group that meets on a weekly or biweekly basis. It was a painful decision for my individual self but the right one for my family unit. I can still crochet next to Carson as he falls asleep and check in with my favorite people via Facebook, Pinterest, and their blogs, but I will be home, physically and emotionally present with my family when I do it. I’ve promised myself to get out one evening a month, but even that might not always be possible. My family needs me.

It’s my first big decision as a thirty year old, and I know it’s the right one.

 

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