Pic of the Week
It’s the end of another week as a busy working mom. I know that all moms are busy, but there is something about going to an office job forty hours a week and spending time with your infant at her most tired (five to seven in the evening) five days a week that can make life seem very trying. Ever since Nora’s arrival, I have felt a lot of anguish about returning to work. I love my baby so much and miss her deeply during the day when I am at the office but feel strongly about staying in the workforce at the moment. We need the income and I enjoy having some stimulating adult time every week, though my heart does ache for my baby when I am at work.
I have been fighting my usual midweek tailspin into wanting to quit my job this week. I know it’s not good for my family, my job, or myself. Early in the week, I take pride in keeping all of the balls up in t he air, but by Wednesday my spirit is generally crushed. It’s hard to see Nora for so few hours a day, and I never feel caught up at home. The kitchen is a wreck, there are bills to pay, and projects I would love to get to.
I am happy to be contributing financially to my household and have a husband who is more than committed to doing half of our housework. I am frustrated that I can’t be there more for Nora and haven’t been able to find time to work on some of my crafty things and read more books. I am hoping that I will find the appropriate life balance soon because I am dying to sew Nora a summer dress and finish the two books I am in the middle of right now.
I don’t want to rant too much about my life because I do feel like I have it all. A great husband, daughter, extended family, friends. A good job, a nice house, a great church. But sometimes I have to admit to myself and others that life as a working mom with a baby isn’t as easy as it sounded when I was pregnant.
I really hate that all moms have to struggle with the choice of staying home or working. I wish it wasn’t such an all-or-nothing proposition. I know that some women can find the ideal part-time job and balance that with rearing their children, but most of the women I know haven’t been able to come up with that life. I give credit to all of my mommy friends who are making it work no matter if they stay at home and give up their careers to raise their kids or if they work and give up more time with their kids to continue their careers. I realize that everyone sacrifices a lot.
It’s amazing to me that I have already changed so much since I returned to work full time in January. I find myself being much more intentional in my actions to create a loving and nurturing environment for Nora. Since I can’t do everything for her I have tried to prioritize my goals as a mom. I emphasize breastfeeding, making homemade baby food, cooking healthy meals, eating at the dinner table, and fostering relationships with good friends and family on a weekly basis. I have become much less anal about our spending habits, worrying less about saving tons of money every month and thinking more about what we can do to spend more time together, even if it costs a bit more. I have (almost entirely) stopped crafting, something I could not have imagined six months ago. I hardly watch television or read books, though I have been trying to keep up with culture via Twitter and blogs with my iPhone when possible.
I am done rambling about my newfound busy/boring life as a working mom. I just needed to express my life challenges in case I ever paint too rosy of a picture on the good ol’ blog. I love being a glass-is-half-full type of person but I don’t want to portray everything in my life as if I am wearing rose-colored glasses. Because sometimes I am sad and depressed, though am thankful that I can pull myself out of a funk with a cute YouTube video, fun craft project, or friendly conversation. It sounds cheesy, but I am an eternal optimist.
I love my baby. She’s standing at an activity table now, laughing at peak-a-boo, smiling when we do a parachute over her with a sheet, lunging for objects, and scarfing up yogurt. She’s still weary of rolling and nowhere near crawling. I can’t believe she doesn’t have teeth yet. Her sleeping patterns are getting a bit more manageable and she’s more and more comfortable in her crib at night, though we do keep her in bed with us after the last feeding of the night (somewhere around three or four in the morning).
Favorite Baby Item/Mommy Item
This week, I am going to pass on this category. My long-winded personal section has worn me out!
Looking Forward To
A potluck Saturday, New York City in a week, a few Seders and Easter, and an impending trip to Idaho!